Quote of the week:

"Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people."

Updated Monday 8th Mar 2010 - Karl Marx

Quote of the week:

"For the woman, the man is a means: the end is always the child."

Updated Monday 1st Mar 2010 - Friedrich Nietzsche

Quote of the week:

"Faith: not wanting to know what is true."

Updated Monday 22nd Feb 2010 - Friedrich Nietzsche

Quote of the week:

"It's like the entire population of Norfolk."

Updated Monday 15th Feb 2010 - Jed Miller on Incest

Quote of the week:

"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."

Updated Monday 8th Feb 2010 - Friedrich Nietzsche

Quote of the week:

"I hate gravity."

Updated Monday 1st Feb 2010 - Jed Miller

Quote of the week:

"After coming into contact with a religious man I always feel I must wash my hands."

Updated Monday 25th Jan 2010 - Friedrich Nietzsche

Quote of the week:

"Am I missing an eyebrow?"

Updated Monday 18th Jan 2010 - Adam Savage [MythBusters]

Quote of the week:

"I am the Silky Walker."

Updated Monday 11th Jan 2010 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"I've been defeated by a bauble."

Updated Monday 4th Jan 2010 - Simon Aggett

Quote of the week:

"Happy New Year 2010!"

Updated Monday 28th Dec 2009 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"It wasn't even about the eggs, really. Frankly, I like the yolks. I have no problem. There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore."

Updated Monday 21st Dec 2009 - Stewie Griffin

Quote of the week:

"What has been done, cannot be undone... unless you work with computers."

Updated Monday 14th Dec 2009 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care."

Updated Monday 7th Dec 2009 - Peter Gibbons

Quote of the week:

"Hey, barkeep, whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?"

Updated Monday 30th Nov 2009 - Brian Griffin

Quote of the week:

"Connect brain to mouth before attempting speech."

Updated Monday 23rd Nov 2009 - Mark Hull

Quote of the week:

During a game of Pool: "It gets harder when there are a few balls to play with."

Updated Monday 16th Nov 2009 - Jed Miller

Quote of the week:

"Doing something interesting is better than doing nothing, but doing nothing is better than doing something you don't want to do."

Updated Monday 9th Nov 2009 - Anonymous

Quote of the week:

"Postman Pat, Postman Pat Postman Pat and his unionized cat, Early in the morning, They're still in bed a-snoring, And I'm wondering where's my post you f*cking tw*t."

Updated Monday 2nd Nov 2009 - Jed Miller

Quote of the week:

"If you don't get a reply i'm having a nap, try calling me." [Jed: 07794958562]

Updated Monday 26th Oct 2009 - Jed Miller

Quote of the week:

"For indeed, there is nothing in the intellect which was not in the senses, except the intellect itself. Music is the pleasure the human mind experiences from counting without being aware that it is counting."

Updated Monday 19th Oct 2009 - Gottfried Leibniz

Quote of the week:

Text Message from Jed's Mobile: "I have lost my phone, can you try calling it please?"

Updated Sunday 11th Oct 2009 - Jed Miller

Quote of the week:

"Ah, You're a Linux user, I see." Comic 644

Updated Monday 5th Oct 2009 - XKCD

Quote of the week:

"I will be as honest with you as you will be with me."

Updated Monday 28th Sep 2009 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Potatoes."

Updated Monday 21st Sep 2009 - Jed Miller

Quote of the week:

"It's not death, it's safety!"

Updated Monday 14th Sep 2009 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Fact is based purely on Saxon's opinion, true fact kiddies!"

Updated Monday 7th Sep 2009 - Saxon

Quote of the week:

"We are all unique, you are just different - dear."

Updated Monday 31st Aug 2009 - Rob Dack

Quote of the week:

"While you two get roasted on the beach, we will get roasted in the pub."

Updated Monday 24th Aug 2009 - Rob Dack and Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Kthxbia, FTW!"

Updated Monday 17th Aug 2009 - Saxon

Quote of the week:

Fat people in sports clothes... who are you trying to kid?

Updated Monday 10th Aug 2009 - Rob Dack

Quote of the week:

"Since when did the Romans have bridges?"

Updated Monday 3rd Aug 2009 - Jed Miller

Quote of the week:

"Is that a bit of cake stuck to your forehead? Oh! Sorry! It's just your eyebrow!"

Updated Monday 27th Jul 2009 - Dug Stokes

Quote of the week:

"Welsh cheerleaders. Putting the 'go! go! go!' into Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch."

Updated Monday 20th Jul 2009 - Dug Stokes

Quote of the week:

"We were all warned a long time ago that MS products sucked, remember the Magic 8 Ball said, 'Outlook not so good'"

Updated Monday 13th Jul 2009 - Anonymous

Quote of the week:

"If you have some problem in your life and you need to deal with it then use religion it's fine... but I use Google."

Updated Monday 6th Jul 2009 - Dug Stokes

Quote of the week:

"Rubbing up against the perineum does not count as losing your virginity."

Updated Monday 29th Jun 2009 - Will McKenzie

Quote of the week:

"Can you try to look... blockier? I have a thing for corrupt women."

Updated Monday 22nd Jun 2009 - xkcd comic 598

Quote of the week:

Rob: "...Bunny." Amanda: "Bunnies don't fart like that." Rob: "They doooo!"

Updated Monday 15th Jun 2009 - Rob Dack and Amanda Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Want to do something exciting? Do it while you can."

Updated Monday 8th Jun 2009 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"What you will always remember is how you felt that day when someone made you feel loved."

Updated Monday 1st Jun 2009 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"A rescue chip is the chip you use to rescue the bits of the first one that broke apart in the dip."

Updated Monday 25th May 2009 - Samwise Wilson

Quote of the week:

"I literally can't find the words to tell you how poor my vocabulary is."

Updated Monday 18th May 2009 - Dug Stokes

Quote of the week:

"Yeah, but he is pitching a two-man thing, I've got a whole marquee going on!"

Updated Monday 11th May 2009 - Rob Dack

Quote of the week:

"If it doesn't move and should, use WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use duct tape."

Updated Monday 4th May 2009 - Dug Stokes

Quote of the week:

"A Post-it note stuck beneath the nose is an ideal way to foil lip-readers."

Updated Monday 27th Apr 2009 - Dug Stokes

Quote of the week:

"Insert Witty Quote Here"

Updated Monday 20th Apr 2009 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"British Association of Plastic Surgeons. BAPS."

Updated Monday 13th Apr 2009 - Anonymous

Quote of the week:

"How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up?"

Updated Monday 6th Apr 2009 - Brian Griffin

Quote of the week:

Jed Said: "Go to bed."

Updated Monday 30th Mar 2009 - Jed Miller

Quote of the week:

"I accidentally... CHMOD 777 / -R ...The whole server!"

Updated Monday 23rd Mar 2009 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"I just successfully cleaned and fixed a noisy and dusty PSU using a garden blower!"

Updated Monday 16th Mar 2009 - Dug Stokes

Quote of the week:

"Can I count to three? For God's sake I am already shooting at a fifth grade level!"

Updated Monday 9th Mar 2009 - Stewie Griffin

Quote of the week:

"I wear long sleeve shirts under short sleeve shirts under long sleeve shirts."

Updated Monday 2nd Mar 2009 - Stewie Griffin

Quote of the week:

"I went swimming and nearly got water into Google!"

Updated Monday 23rd Feb 2009 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Why arn't we allowed heroin in CISCO? It's a perfectly natural substance."

Updated Monday 16th Feb 2009 - Dan Manley

Quote of the week:

"I have to go home early because I have a headache that's forcing me to go to a party in Cambridge..."

Updated Monday 9th Feb 2009 - Lawrence Cook

Quote of the week:

"What you can do is not my problem. But what I can do may be your problem."

Updated Monday 2nd Feb 2009 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"I may have just inadvertently destroyed the universe by installing a cat flap into Schroedinger's box..."

Updated Monday 26th Jan 2009 - Dug Stokes

Quote of the week:

"What good can come of bad?"

Updated Monday 19th Jan 2009 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"I've got a 'double-flusher', I may be a while."

Updated Monday 12th Jan 2009 - Rob Dack

Quote of the week:

"I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution. 1024x768"

Updated Monday 5th Jan 2009 - Lawrence Cook

Quote of the week:

"Inspiration...have you seen it? I think i left it somewhere on saturday night..."

Updated Monday 29th Dec 2008 - Rob Dack

Quote of the week:

"I love the feeling when I sneeze"

Updated Monday 22nd Dec 2008 - Chris

Quote of the week:

"Do we live to please the people we love, or do we live to be with the people we love?"

Updated Monday 15th Dec 2008 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Remember, that is why you should always keep a hand pistol in your underpants."

Updated Monday 8th Dec 2008 - Elton Hall

Quote of the week:

"The pram parade are getting off the bus!"

Updated Monday 1st Dec 2008 - Charlotte Moore

Quote of the week:

"And that's what happens when you don't do any beta testing, children."

Updated Monday 24th Nov 2008 - Warren Penney

Quote of the week:

"After all that trouble, there wasn't even any porn in it!"

Updated Monday 17th Nov 2008 - Charlotte Smallwood-Smith

Quote of the week:

"I know I was supposed to, I chose not to."

Updated Monday 10th Nov 2008 - Rob Dack

Quote of the week:

"It's not my mess, I put mine on the floor!"

Updated Monday 3rd Nov 2008 - Lawrence Cook

Quote of the week:

"How much wood would a wood chuck chuck, if a chuck wood could chuck wood?"

Updated Monday 27th Oct 2008 - Dan Manley

Quote of the week:

"Double face palm."

Updated Monday 20th Oct 2008 - Emma Perry

Quote of the week:

"I accidentally the whole damn thing."

Updated Monday 13th Oct 2008 - Lawrence Cook

Quote of the week:

"I dunno, I can't remeber now." Update: "I've remembered! I love Emma P! x"

Updated Monday 6th Oct 2008 - Warren Penney

Quote of the week:

"Erm, what have I said?"

Updated Monday 29th Sep 2008 - Dan Manley

Quote of the week:

"How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?"

Updated Monday 22nd Sep 2008 - Albert Einstein

Quote of the week:

"That man dropped his minstral!"

Updated Monday 15th Sep 2008 - Charlotte Moore

Quote of the week:

"I am unblameable!"

Updated Monday 8th Sep 2008 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."

Updated Monday 1st Sep 2008 - Albert Einstein

Quote of the week:

"I wish love upon all my fellow students. Dropping through a chimney near you."

Updated Monday 25th Aug 2008 - Jack Christmas

Quote of the week:

"Chris, everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that."

Updated Monday 18th Aug 2008 - Peter Griffin

Quote of the week:

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Updated Monday 11th Aug 2008 - Roy

Quote of the week:

"The cake is a lie."

Updated Monday 4th Aug 2008 - Anonymous

Quote of the week:

"I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless."

Updated Monday 28th Jul 2008 - Stewie Griffin

Quote of the week:

"What's that smell? It's either bad meat or good cheese."

Updated Monday 21st Jul 2008 - Brian Griffin

Quote of the week:

"Business is like life, good things will only happen if you make them happen, bad things will happen if you don't stop them happening."

Updated Monday 14th Jul 2008 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"I think I am wearing slightly confused pyjamas."

Updated Monday 7th Jul 2008 - Dug Stokes

Quote of the week:

"It could have been a fatal plate incident!"

Updated Monday 30th Jun 2008 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Buffer Buffer Buffer Chicken!"

Updated Monday 23rd Jun 2008 - Charlotte Moore

Quote of the week:

"For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three."

Updated Monday 16th Jun 2008 - Alice Kahn

Quote of the week:

"I always knew something was fundamentally wrong with the Universe."

Updated Monday 9th Jun 2008 - Douglas Adams

Quote of the week:

"What is left is not right."

Updated Monday 2nd Jun 2008 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Hedgehogs are great burglars because they can tip-toe."

Updated Monday 26th May 2008 - Dug Stokes

Quote of the week:

"Avocado? Is that a pear of fish?"

Updated Monday 19th May 2008 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"

Updated Monday 12th May 2008 - Robert Schuller

Quote of the week:

"This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

Updated Monday 5th May 2008 - Douglas Adams

Quote of the week:

"The future can be more valuable than memories of the past."

Updated Monday 28th Apr 2008 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"We are going as fast as we can't!"

Updated Monday 21st Apr 2008 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Without gravity, we wouldn't have chairs."

Updated Monday 14th Apr 2008 - Dug Stokes

Quote of the week:

"The meaning of life is to work out what the meaning of life is."

Updated Monday 7th Apr 2008 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient.
There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning."

Updated Monday 31st Mar 2008 - Bill Gates

Quote of the week:

"No, I don't want a peanut."

Updated Monday 24th Mar 2008 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Nothing hurts more than rejection."

Updated Monday 17th Mar 2008 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it."

Updated Monday 10th Mar 2008 - GK Chesterton

Quote of the week:

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease."

Updated Monday 3rd Mar 2008 - RD Laing

Quote of the week:

"There's no place like 127.0.0.1"

Updated Monday 25th Feb 2008 - Lawrence Cook

Quote of the week:

"Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes."

Updated Monday 18th Feb 2008 - Edgard Varese

Quote of the week:

"Love is lifes most valuable treasure, look after it."

Updated Monday 11th Feb 2008 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Do not worry about how you have changed, just focus on what you have become."

Updated Monday 4th Feb 2008 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"I didn't know that if it said 'empty' it would actually run out!"

Updated Monday 28th Jan 2008 - Amanda Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Killer rabbits are coming to kill the weak and infirm."

Updated Monday 21st Jan 2008 - Allan Nadin

Quote of the week:

"It's not rape, it's surprise sex!"

Updated Monday 14th Jan 2008 - Emma Perry

Quote of the week:

"Life would be boring without worry."

Updated Monday 7th Jan 2008 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"If Love is happiness, why is nobody happy without money?"

Updated Monday 31st Dec 2007 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!"

Updated Monday 24th Dec 2007 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Last week of Term, enjoy it!"

Updated Monday 17th Dec 2007 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Wadeism is the way to go."

Updated Monday 10th Dec 2007 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts."

Updated Monday 3rd Dec 2007 - Jim Morrison

Quote of the week:

"Ah ah ah ah ah ah..."

Updated Monday 26th Nov 2007 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"We're Cool Phool's, with a PH, there's a difference you know."

Updated Monday 19th Nov 2007 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Miss, does non-uniform day mean we dont wear anything?."

Updated Monday 12th Nov 2007 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Music is an emotion? no. Music has emotion."

Updated Monday 5th Nov 2007 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"The sale of Cheese has increased by 2% in the last week."

Updated Monday 29th Oct 2007 - Steve Young

Quote of the week:

"Sooo..."

Updated Monday 22nd Oct 2007 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Is 'hello' a kind greeting or a way of starting a conversation?"

Updated Monday 15th Oct 2007 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Has anyone seen my invisible pet duck?"

Updated Monday 8th Oct 2007 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"OMG-WTF-BBQ-LAWN!"

Updated Monday 1st Oct 2007 - Kirk Saywell

Quote of the week:

"Only 7 more days until today again, woo!"

Updated Monday 24th Sep 2007 - Kirk Saywell